| boyfriend |
[Nov. 29th, 2008|02:59 am] |
| [ | I feel... |
| |  lonely | ] |
I kinda want a boyfriend now. I've never really wanted one that badly before (and I still don't want one that badly now), but recently I've been thinking about it a lot more. Maybe it's cause I'm jealous. Yeah, I think I'm a little jealous. Or at least something along that line... My brother has a girlfriend and he spends a lot of time with her, so I don't get to hang out with him as much as I used to, so I feel left out a lot of the time (it gets really awkward when my family + my brother's girlfriend go somewhere, cause then there's my mom and my dad, my brother and his girlfriend, and them just me). I remember watching a movie or reading a book or something where the little sister of the main guy character was really angry at the main girl character for being there and I thought the little sister was silly, but now I kinda understand. I never really thought about it before, though... and he's had girlfriends before. Oh well. Maybe I'm just a lot more bored when I go home now cause none of my friends are at here when I'm home. Oh well. I'll get used to it. =D |
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| friends |
[Nov. 16th, 2008|02:54 am] |
| [ | I feel... |
| | somber | ] |
So I haven't posted in here in a while. It seems like I'll probably stop using this blog... or already did. But maybe I'll post here randomly when I feel the urge to, like right now.
Today I was thinking about my friends. It seems like whenever I think for a long time, I get sad. Or at least not happy. Like I was just keeping to myself tonight when I got back from home, and one of my friends asked me why I was sad. I guess I looked sad because I'm normally all happy-bouncy, and being somber is such a stark contrast to my normal self. But I said I wasn't sad.. I just wasn't happy. And I thought that was true at the time, but it turns out later that I was actually sad. Anyway, I got all nostalgic about old friends and I was thinking about them, and then I was thinking about friends I have here... it doesn't seem like I have that many close friends. Well, I do have some close friends, but I don't feel like they're as close as my close friends in high school were. I don't feel comfortable around them all the time... and lots of times it's like they don't really know me. Maybe it's because I've been trying too hard all this time to make sure people are happy... so no one really knows who I am. I don't know... But yeah.. tonight I was acting a lot like my high school self, and some of my friends were confused. And when I say "friends" here, I mean actual friends, not acquaintances. Acquaintances tend to avoid me when I'm not actively bouncing off the walls.
It's surprising how many people will walk by you without acknowledging you if you're just sitting there.
Anyway, I'm not sure why I was sad. I guess I was just thinking about losing my friends.. or losing contact with them, which has tended to happen to me in the past when I don't see them every day anymore.. and I thought I would try to keep in touch with my high school friends more, but that hasn't really happened, and now I feel weird around most of them, too. I don't want it to happen again... for the third time... yeah, but that's not for a while.
I used to think I was a loner, but I'm quite the opposite. I can't do anything alone. I crave the companionship of other people... I need their acceptance and their happiness. I guess that's why I've always been kinda lonerish in high school: because I'm afraid that if I do anything wrong, people's opinions of me will drop. So instead I don't do anything. Not exactly a great solution... but I guess no one really hates me right now. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if at least one person hated me.. sometimes I wish someone would.. then maybe I would actually be an existing human, instead of some robot who makes everyone happy.
Yay for rambling rants. Emo?
Namárië. |
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| I'm such a hopeless romantic |
[Aug. 10th, 2008|09:52 pm] |
| [ | I feel... |
| |  confused | ] |
I always liked to think that I wasn't into all that gushy romantic stuff like in chick flicks and stuff. Through high school, I didn't care about having a boyfriend... I actually didn't want to have one. I didn't really pay attention to "hot" people and stuff.. and I thought it was silly when girls got all crazy and googly-eyed (heh that sounds funny) over actors or whatever. Actually, I still think it's silly. But I just read this book, Twilight, and I really liked it. But that kinda disgusts me because this book isn't actually a good book... it's basically a vampire romance story.. one of those books that teen girls like to read. No literary value.. an escape novel... you know, all those things that English teachers despise. Anyway, I liked this book and just finished reading it (I started last night). And the reason I liked it (I think) is because I kinda fell in love with the character in it... I don't act all crazy, but inside I secretly am like those other girls that I think are silly... And this isn't the first time this has happened either. It happened with Pride and Prejudice, even though in middle school I thought that all of Jane Austen's novels sounded boring (when I read summaries of them or something). And it's happened with lots of the fantasy books I've read (no, I'm not gonna name all of the characters I've fallen in love with cause that would take forever), although not all. And with anime... and possibly some movies. But that's not as frequent. I guess it's cause I find real people less attractive than ones that I make up. That's why I like some romantic books.. because I can imagine the people however I wanted. And I always imagine them the wrong way too. Like, in this book it said the guy had like dirty blonde hair or something, but I imagined him with dark hair. That was funny. But yeah, back to some point that I possibly had at some time... this book was just a love story, and I liked it. There was nothing else to it (ok, maybe there was some other stuff like fighting, but not nearly as much as other books). And this book is apparently really popular with like high school girls. Well, yeah, I guess high school girls like that sappy love story stuff. But why do they (and I guess I am now included in they)? What's so great about love stories? Why do they make us feel so nice after reading them... I lost my train of thought. See how coherently I write? I'm amazing. Anyway, I have nothing else to write on this topic and it's late so I'm sleeping. Bye. |
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| cubing: not a game... a way of life? |
[Jul. 24th, 2008|09:50 pm] |
Dang.. I haven't posted in a while.. I guess it's time for an entry.
As some of you may know, I went to a Rubik's cube competition this last weekend. While there, an interesting point was brought up by someone at lunch. He asked if I had friends who didn't cube, and what I did with them. I said like normal stuff... hanging out, playing games, longboarding, and it seemed obvious to me that you can do other things. But then he pointed out that a lot of the people there didn't seem to do much else than cube... And then I noticed it. Those people were cubing all the time. They cubed during the competitions when they weren't competing.. they cubed at night in the hotel lobby.. they cubed at the restaurants when they went out to eat... they cubed after the whole competition was over! There was never a time that weekend when there wasn't someone cubing! It made me kinda sad... but it also made me realize that a lot of the cubers that I know of I don't really know that well.. I don't know what else they do. I don't even know if they do much else... And then all the cool cubers that I hang out with do other things and are pretty much sick of cubing anyway... so yeah... cubing is getting less and less cool. Not that it was ever "cool" to begin with... just I don't remember people cubing all the time before. Maybe that's because I haven't really been to a long competition other than this one and last year... and last year there were the people who didn't cube all the time there. So... next time I see cubers.. I want to make sure I talk to them about something other than cubing. |
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| Blacker... |
[May. 16th, 2008|12:51 am] |
Sometimes I hate Blacker House. Not the building itself, but the group of people that makes up Blacker...
When I was a frosh, I really liked Blacker a lot, and I was so excited about everything that Blacker did. I liked everyone in Blacker (at least the people that I knew... I didn't hang out with the other people), and I didn't have a problem with anything in Blacker. But now... I'm not sure if I like Blacker anymore. Sure, most of my friends are in Blacker, but I don't really associate them as Blacker. They're just my friends. But when I think about Blacker... sometimes I just hate it. Because Blacker has this attitude that tends to impose itself on all of its members.. this attitude of laziness and delegating things to other people.. waiting for other people to do work so that you don't have to... and I really hate that. I hate how people in Blacker procrastinate, and then expect everyone around them to procrastinate as much as them. The house mentality basically makes people want to bring you down to their level... in everything. It's really discouraging when you're trying to accomplish anything... when you're trying to do well in classes and trying to get good grades.. it's discouraging when your "friends" in your house get angry at you for doing your work on time and actually trying to do it well. And that attitude is contagious... I guess because people who have other people nag at them want to nag at other people so it's fair or something. But that's just stupid.. it's just this cycle that brings people further and further down... no wonder everyone is always so depressed. It's because everyone else encourages them to be depressed. People don't want other people to be happy, because people want to bring others down to their level when they're sad... and when they're happy they don't care about other people at all.
Bleh... humans are so depressing sometimes.
And I just needed to write that down so I could get my thoughts out and see what I actually think... cause I didn't know how I felt about Blacker. Iono, I may make this entry private later. Not that it really matters, cause I don't think many people at tech read this anyway... even though there's a link to it in my aim profile. Oh well. |
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| Rent |
[May. 8th, 2008|12:03 am] |
| [ | What's stuck in my head... |
| | Rent: Original Broadway Cast | ] |
I watched Rent (the movie) last night (Tuesday). Heh, I like how I had to classify both of those. Anyway... Rent's good.. you should all watch it... it has good songs and stuff.
Wouldn't it be cool if life were a musical? Then people would randomly break into song all the time.. and everyone would be a good singer and dancer. It would be awesome!
I also watched 101 Dalmations today (Wednesday). That was good too... yeah, I've been watching lots of movies again lately... it's cause I don't want to do homework. It's kinda sad. I have less homework this week (I think), but I don't want to do it because I have less... Oh well.
I don't know what I was gonna write about. I wanted to update though... Oh well.. time for inspiring lyrics from Rent! Go watch it. Maybe I'll watch it with you. =P
Without you, the ground thaws
the rain falls
the grass grows
Without you, the seeds root
the flowers bloom
the children play
The stars gleam
the poets dream
the eagles fly
without you
The Earth turns
the sun burns
but I die, without you
[...]
The world revives
colors renew
but I know blue
only blue
lonely blue
willingly blue
Without you
Without you, the hand gropes
the ear hears
the pulse beats
Without you, the eyes gaze
the legs walk
the lungs breathe
The mind churns
the heart yearns
the tears dry without you
Life goes on
but I'm gone
'cause I die, without you
without you
without you
without you..... |
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| Moving |
[Apr. 21st, 2008|08:22 am] |
| [ | I feel... |
| | lonely | ] |
Whenever one of my friends goes far away, I miss him. I guess this is normal, but the weird part is that I miss him like the day he leaves. Even if I rarely see him anyway, when I know he's leaving and I won't see him for a long time, I get sad. I guess it's just the knowledge that he isn't going to be close by, that I won't be able to see him whenever I want to, that makes me miss him already. And this has happened so many times... Like last summer, when I left tech.. I started missing people the moment I got into my car. And it was just like any other weekend when I would go home on Friday and come back Sunday... except I wasn't coming back. And other people were also leaving... I knew that compared to how I was used to seeing everyone every day, I would practically never see them again. Of course, I see them again this year... but summer's still a long time. And it's longer when it's a permanent move.. Like when people graduate and everyone goes all over the country... I'll never see most of them again... I think about these things too much. If I just didn't think about it when people leave, I probably wouldn't miss them as much... |
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| Roompicks suck |
[Apr. 18th, 2008|01:58 am] |
I'm such a crybaby.
Edit: Or maybe I'm just a female who gets PMS. =P |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 23rd, 2008|11:17 pm] |
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I don't know what's right anymore. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 1st, 2008|04:47 pm] |
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I saw Requiem for a Dream last week. I thought it was a really depressing movie. And it would have been just that, had it not been for some of the other people that watched it too. It seemed to be a strong opinion among some people that the movie was stupid or even happy because the characters were stupid and deserved what they got. Or because they hate those types of people.... What types of people? Normal people? People who want to be happy but just don't know how? People who get addicted to things too easily? Well, I've got news for you. This movie isn't just about drugs. It's about addiction in general. Sure, you hear the word "addiction" and you say that's bad, but I'm pretty sure everyone's addicted to something... Just some don't mess you up as visibly as others. People in that movie were addicted to drugs; they were addicted to TV, to coffee... But most of all, they were just addicted to being happy. And they didn't know how... They didn't want to deal with the things that made them sad. And I know for a fact that you don't like to deal with your problems either. What do you do to forget them? Do you play games? Run? Sleep? Watch movies? Work? We all have things we do to help us forget. Just they happened to be drugs in the movie. People in general don't like to confront their problems. People who do drugs just have different addictions than the rest of us. So the next time you say someone deserves something, stop and look at yourself first. Maybe you're not so different from them. |
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| happily ever after |
[Jan. 6th, 2008|02:47 am] |
Don't you think that it would be nice if life were like a movie? You know, where a girl bumps into a guy in a crowded subway and at that first glance, it's love at first sight. And then later, they meet again, and all of these things happen to bring them together. Clearly, they're destined for eachother, so they get married and live happily ever after.
But life isn't like that. Life is too complicated to fit into a script.. whether it's a movie or a book or a tv show. Mutual love is a hard thing to find, and even if that happens, circumstances rarely work in favor of it. There are too many people in this world.. too many things happening.. Even if there is only one single person destined for you.. I doubt you can find him/her. And even if you do happen to meet that person.. you won't realize it. But you meet other people... and you take chances and learn from your interactions with everyone you meet. And eventually, you can find someone that you can be happy with (I hope)... even though it's not like your "soulmate" or anything.
Yes, life is complicated. But we live it.. we try it out.. we make mistakes.. we learn. And maybe it's better that way. It sure seems more interesting. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 1st, 2008|03:32 am] |
Out of boredom and an unwillingness to go to sleep yet, I decided to do this survey thing that Sunil did on his xanga... I assume I'm supposed to check how many things I've done before. And then I'll comment randomly on things that are interesting because that's what I do on survey thingies when I'm bored!
Level 1
( ) Smoked A Cigarette
( ) Smoked A Cigar
( ) Smoked Weed
(x) Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex (just on the cheek.. does that count?)
(x) Drank Alcohol
SO FAR: 2
Level 2
(x) Are / Been In Love
( ) Been Dumped (I don't think this is referring to being dumped with water at dinner.. so I'll leave it unchecked)
( ) Shoplifted
( ) Been Fired
( ) Been In A Fist Fight
SO FAR: 3
Level 3
( ) Snuck Out Of A Parent's House
(x) Had Feelings For Someone Who Didn't Have Them Back
( ) Been Arrested
( ) Made Out With A Stranger
( ) Gone Out On A Blind Date
SO FAR: 4
Level 4
(x) Had A Crush On An Older Person
(x) Skipped School
( ) Slept With A Co-worker
(x) Seen Someone / Something Die
SO FAR: 7
Level 5
( ) Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your FACEBOOK Friends (does this imply that they're not my friends in real life? Cause most of my facebook friends I know in real life.. I'll just leave this blank)
( ) Been To Paris
( ) Been To Spain (oooh I have in my dream once!)
(x) Been On A Plane
( ) Thrown Up From Drinking
SO FAR: 8
Level 6
(x) Eaten Sushi
(x) Been Snowboarding
( ) Met Someone BECAUSE Of Facebook
( ) Been in a Mosh Pit
SO FAR: 10
Level 7
( ) Been In An Abusive Relationship/Friendship
(x) Taken Pain Killers
(x) Love/Like Loved/Liked Someone Who You Can't Have
(x) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By
(x) Made A Snow Angel
SO FAR: 14
Level 8
( ) Had A Sleepover and became slap-happy
(x) Flown A Kite
(x) Built A Sand Castle
( ) Gone mudding
( ) Played Dress Up
SO FAR: 16
Level 9
( ) Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves
( ) Gone Sledding
(x) Cheated While Playing A Game
(x) Been Lonely
(x) Fallen Asleep At Work / School (like all the time last year...)
SO FAR: 19
Level 10
(x) Watched The Sun Set
(x) Felt An Earthquake (I hadn't felt an earthquake until high school, I think. I'm very unobservant...)
( ) Killed A Snake
SO FAR: 21
Level 11
(x) Been Tickled (gahhhhhhhhh I hate being ticklish!!!)
( ) Been Robbed / Vandalized
(x) Stole something (then gave it back?)
(x) Been Misunderstood
SO FAR: 24
Level 12
(x) Won A Contest
( ) Been Suspended From School
( ) Had Detention
(x) Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident
SO FAR: 26
Level 13
(x) Had / Have Braces
( ) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
( ) Danced in the moonlight
SO FAR: 27
Level 14
( ) Hated The Way You Looked
( ) Witnessed A Crime
( ) Pole Danced
( ) Questioned Your Heart
( ) Been obsessed with Post-It notes
SO FAR: 27 (ooooh, none on that last level! wow)
Level 15
( ) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud
(x) Been Lost
( ) Been To The Opposite Side Of The World
(x) Swam In The Ocean
(x) Felt Like You Were Dying (once while swimming in the ocean! wow, it's awesome how these random things are connected!)
SO FAR: 30
Level 16
(x) Cried Yourself To Sleep
(x) Played Cops And Robbers
(x) Recently Colored With Crayons / Colored Pencils / Markers (yup, with crayons.)
(x) Sang Karaoke
( ) Paid For A Meal With Only Coins (sweet, I want to do this)
SO FAR: 34
Level 17
(x) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
( ) Made Prank Phone Calls
(x) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose
( ) Kissed In The Rain
SO FAR: 36
Level 18
(x) Written A Letter To Santa Claus
( ) Been Kissed Under A Mistletoe
(x) Watched The Sun Set/ sun rise With Someone You Care / Cared About (with my family on vacation...)
(x) Blown Bubbles (BUBBLES!!!)
(x) Made A Bonfire On The Beach or Anywhere (FIRE!!!)
SO FAR: 40
Level 19
( ) Crashed A Party
( ) Have Traveled More Than 5 Days With A Car Full Of People
(x) Gone Rollerskating / Blading
(x) Had A Wish Come True (probably.. but I can't think of a specific time)
( ) Been Humped By A Monkey
SO FAR: 42 (yayy 42)
Level 20
( ) Worn Pearls
( ) Jumped Off A Bridge
(x) Screamed "Penis" or "Vagina" (we had to do this in 7th grade when we were learning sex ed, I think...)
( ) Swam With Dolphins
SO FAR: 43
Level 22
( ) Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/Freezer/Ice Cube
( ) Kissed A Fish
(x) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes (guy clothes are so comfortable)
(x) Sat On A Roof Top
( ) Kissed A Worm
SO FAR: 45
Level 23
(x) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs
( ) Done / Attempted A One-Handed Cartwheel
( ) Talked On The Phone For More Than 6 Hours (erm... total? maybe... but that's not what it means)
(x) Recently stayed up for a while talking to someone you care about
SO FAR: 47
Level 24
(x) Picked And Ate An Apple Right Off The Tree
(x) Climbed A Tree
(x) Had / Been In A Tree House
(x) Been scared To Watch Scary Movies Alone
SO FAR: 51 (wow, all of the last category! cool)
Level 25
( ) Believed In Ghosts
( ) Have/had More Than 30 Pairs Of Shoes
( ) Gone Streaking
( ) Visited Jail
SO FAR: 51
Level 26
( ) Played Chicken
( ) Been Pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
( ) Been Told You're Hot By A Complete Stranger
( ) Broken A Bone
(x) Been Easily Amused (umm... all the time?)
SO FAR: 52
Level 27
( ) Caught A Fish Then Ate It Later (eeew, I don't like fish...)
( ) Made A Porn Video/got asked to make one
(x) Caught A Butterfly (I'm not sure if this counts as catching it.. but there was a butterfly on the side of the road and its wing was broken, and I took it inside and kept it for like a day...)
(x) Laughed So Hard You Cried
( ) Cried So Hard You Laughed
SO FAR: 54
Level 28
( ) Mooned / Flashed Someone
(x) Had Someone Moon / Flash You
(x) Cheated On A Test
(x) Forgotten Someone's Name (I'm really bad with names...)
( ) French Braided Someones Hair
(x) Gone Skinny Dipping
( ) Been Kicked Out Of Your House
(x) Tried to hurt yourself
SO FAR: 59
Level 29
(x) Rode A Roller Coaster
(x) Went Scuba-Diving / Snorkeling
( ) Had A Cavity
( ) Black-Mailed Someone
( ) Been Black Mailed
SO FAR: 61
Level 31
( ) Been Used
( ) Fell Going Up The Stairs
( ) Licked A Cat
( ) Bitten Someone
( ) Licked Someone
SO FAR : 61
Level 32
( ) been shot at/or at gunpoint
( ) Had sex in the rain
( ) flattened someone�s tires
(x) Rode your car/truck until the gas light came on (Mitchell: Has the gas light come on yet? Me: No. Mitchell: Then you have plenty of gas! You can go home and back like 2 times! *gas light turns on* ... Ok, maybe not.)
( ) Got five dollars or less worth of gas
TOTAL: 62
Hm, when I counted it while reading Sunil's, I thought I had 59. Oh well, I guess I can't count. Or I didn't add right here... or there were some things that I've done that I didn't count the first time. But yay, that was fun. |
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| anger |
[Dec. 31st, 2007|01:45 am] |
| [ | I feel... |
| | disappointed | ] |
I hate it when people are mad at each other.
There are few things in this world that I hate. And by hate, I mean truly despise. There are many inconsequential things I dislike, and there are some things that I say that I hate... but I tend not to actually hate that many things. But this is one thing that I really hate. I hate it when people are mad at each other, especially when they're family.
Father and son, mother and daughter, brothers, sisters... they're all supposed to love each other. Children have lived with their parents since birth; siblings have lived together for most of their lives... I guess that's why it's possible for them to get so angry with each other. But that's also why it's so sad when it happens. Usually it's just a small mistake that one person makes.. and the stubbornness of both people forces the mistake to grow into an argument. Both people are too proud.. both think themselves right. Both refuse to admit that they're wrong because they're too stubborn. And then they just yell or nag at each other... or they just keep their thoughts to themselves, but the anger is still there...
I don't care who's wrong or who's right. It normally doesn't even matter that much. The reason that people are angry with each other is because neither person will back down. And then the anger grows as they snarl at each other and attack each other. If it keeps going on, they'll always be mad...
From my experience, the only way to solve this problem is for one of the people to stop being so stubborn and to just apologize to the other. It doesn't matter who's right or who's wrong... it's normally just a difference of viewpoints anyway.. or a mistake in communication. But one person has to get off of the offensive and just step back and look at how stupid both of the people are being. Then, when one person apologizes, the other normally listens to what he/she has to say, and then they can each explain what he/she thinks with a level head. The argument may not be resolved... We may never know who was right.. but at least the idiotic anger will be subdued.
So please... when you're mad at somebody.. stop and think about why you're mad at that person. And think about why that person might be mad at you... and apologize for that. Cause if you don't do that... it will never end... |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 19th, 2007|04:01 pm] |
In this department of life, as in every other, thrills come at the beginning and do not last. The sort of thrill a boy has at the first idea of flying will not go on when he has joined the R.A.F. and is really learning to fly. The thrill you feel on first seeing some delightful place dies away when you really go to live there. Does this mean it would be better not to learn to fly and not to live in the beautiful place? By no means. In both cases, if you go through with it, the dying away of the first thrill will be compensated for by a quieter and more lasting kind of interest. What is more (and I can hardly find words to tell you how important I think this), it is just the people who are ready to submit to the loss of the thrill and settle down to the sober interest, who are then most likely to meet new thrills in some quite different direction. The man who has learned to fly and becomes a good pilot will suddenly discover music; the man who has settled down to live in the beauty spot will discover gardening.
~C.S. Lewis on love and marriage in Mere Christianity |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 16th, 2007|02:55 am] |
Life is short. I rarely think about this. I tend to believe that life will last a long time, and I'm pretty much invincible. But this is not the case.. I could die any time. I could die next week, tomorrow, even right now. But I never really think that I will ever die.. and if I do, I don't really do anything about it. I still do the same things every day.. preparing for a future that might never come.
But people die. Sometimes it's a drawn out process, and they have plenty of time to prepare for their deaths... but other times it's sudden and totally unforeseeable. What happens then? What happens to all the dreams of what you were going to be when you grow up.. all the plans for the future.. the people that you were waiting until tomorrow to talk to... it's all gone. No more future. All that's left is what you did in your past.
Life is short. So live it. |
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| happy |
[Dec. 11th, 2007|11:18 am] |
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Something that seems to be lacking at tech is happiness in the students. Most people always complain about the workload and they tell prefrosh not to come here because it's terrible.. But I don't think it's so bad. We all chose to come here, and we pretty much knew what we were getting into... Oh, and also, I have this neat ability that enables me to not stay sad for that long. Take, for example, a final I had to take. It was a really difficult final for me and I did terribly on it... but then after the time limit was over, I just forgot about it, and I was happy again! There's no point in worrying about what's done, since you can't change it. So... I guess finals don't really worry me much after they're done. It's the before and during that worries me... But I guess that's why I like getting my finals out of the way early (which isn't a very good way to study, so I don't recommend it). Anyway, people always comment on my happiness.. they say I'm always happy and stuff. And I think the reason I'm happy most of the time is that I am like a little kid. I get amazed at most things I see, especially if it's shiny or has lights. But little things like that amuse me, and they also help me forget anything that's making me irrationally sad. So I guess that's how you stay happy.. keep your inner child? But acting like a kid all the time is childish.. so we need to find that balance.. where we can still enjoy the world we live in but also be aware of what's going on in the world. |
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| midnight donuts |
[Nov. 17th, 2007|11:13 am] |
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Thursday was midnight donuts. It's interesting to watch people. People get into a mob... they fight eachother and try to take a box away from the crowd.. while other people are grabbing at it.. but then they stop after they're out of the mob of people and share their prize with others. So even though it may seem that people are all selfish at first.. they aren't really. Just.. selfish for their friends. |
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| houses |
[Oct. 28th, 2007|06:30 pm] |
The house system sucks. Admittedly, there are parts of it that are awesome.. it's nice to have a community of people where you can hang out and you belong.. and it really helps you get friends.. but the whole house sentiment kinda sucks. I hate all the stereotypes of each house.. I hate how all the houses are so cliquish.. I hate how people rarely hang out anywhere outside of their own house. I guess this happens in the real world too.. with stereotyping and groups and stuff.. but I'll only talk about at Caltech because that's what applies to me now..
Anyway, if you don't know about the house system at Caltech, there are 8 houses, and when you enter Caltech, there's this process where all the frosh get picked into one of those houses. Most of the people remain affiliated with that house all their time at Caltech (and after they graduate too). Some people join other houses too. Each house has a different personality in general.. they each have different activities and stuff. They also have different stereotypes associated with them.. and that's what pisses me off. Like most of the people I talk to tend to talk badly about other houses.. and I always feel bad. They make assumptions about people just because they're in a certain house.. And what's really bad is that sometimes now I find myself kinda agreeing with them. But before.. I wanted to like all the houses.. I had wanted to hang out in the houses and have friends in other houses.. But I don't have as many friends in other houses just because I'm around my house a lot more.. But at least I can try to catch myself when I start stereotyping other houses. Cause that's not cool. There are cool people in every house.. I just think that when any house gets together as a group, the people in it can be jerks. I should hang out in other houses more often now.. I used to visit other houses sometimes.. I should do that again. But it feels weird being in other houses.. I get the feeling that I don't belong lots of the time. I don't know all the people living there.. and I feel bad walking through their hallways. But I guess I hafta do that if I wanna hang out in their house. So yeah, I need to start hanging out with other houses again. Because all the houses are cool in their own way. And I truly believe this. So yeah, if anyone here is from Caltech, please try to remind me not to stereotype against other houses.. and if you ever catch me doing it, tell me, even if I am just kidding. |
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| Christianity |
[Oct. 25th, 2007|08:27 am] |
I've used this journal mainly to post entries about random things that I've thought about in my life. I've tried to stay away from saying anything blatantly religious in my posts.. mainly because many people stop taking things seriously when religion (especially Christianity) is mentioned. But I'm gonna break my made up rule now... and see how this goes.
Anyway, if you didn't know already, I'm a Christian. I've pretty much been a "Christian" for as long as I remember. But yeah, the quotes are there for a reason. Anyway, most people who are "Christians" don't really think about why they are. Many people have been Christian all their life, so it's just tradition. It's rather sad. I was like that for most of my life. I just did the routine.. going to church and not listening, then having my own life during the week. But I wasn't really a Christian then, because I never thought about it. I didn't know what it meant to be a Christian. I didn't have my own reason for being a Christian. I didn't really want to be a Christian, I guess. But then.. I guess now I am a Christian. Although I've kinda strayed a little.. but that's all part of it. But yeah... there's no single reason why I'm a Christian. It's just a combination of multiple things that have happened in my life, I suppose. And now I want to be a Christian. But I really should be spending more time on it.. I haven't really thought much about Christianity in a while, and I've kinda forgotten about it. I guess I should wake up. Oh, and I was thinking about doubting. Doubting is good. Lots of the Christians I know are strong Christians because they have doubted. Because doubting leads to questions, and questions lead to trying to find answers. And that's how people learn. It's like any school subject.. people wondered how things worked and then they tried to figure it out and then they did! I guess it's like that with God.. except we can't find the answers all the time. But I guess when we have our doubts.. we learn more. And that's good. I need to do that too. Basically.. I need to actively become a Christian again.. because right now I'm kinda apathetic and lazy. And that's not good for anything. Apathy and laziness are terrible.. Um, I gotta go to class now, so I guess that's all. |
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| One test.. TO RULE THEM ALL!! |
[Oct. 5th, 2007|12:46 am] |
The Everything Test There are many different types of tests on the internet today. Personality tests, purity tests, stereotype tests, political tests. But now, there is one test to rule them all. Traditionally, online tests would ask certain questions about your musical tastes or clothing for a stereotype, your experiences for a purity test, or deep questions for a personality test.We're turning that upside down - all the questions affect all the results, and we've got some innovative results too! Enjoy :-) | Personality | You are more logical than emotional, more concerned about others than concerned about self, more religious than atheist, more loner than dependent, more lazy than workaholic, more rebel than traditional, more artistic mind than engineering mind, more idealist than cynical, more leader than follower, and more introverted than extroverted.
As for specific personality traits, you are musical (65%), innovative (64%), religious (60%), artistic (59%). | | | Stereotypes | | College Student | 73% | | Geek | 53% | | Prep | 46% | | | | Life Experience | | Sex | 0% | | Substances | 3% | | Travel | 35% | | Politics
Your political views would best be described as Libertarian, whom you agree with around 32% of the time. | | Socioeconomic
Your attitude toward life best associates you with Middle Class. You make more than 25% of those who have taken this test, and 95% less than the U.S. average.
| If your life was a movie, it would be rated G.
By the way, your hottness rank is 60%, hotter than 45% of other test takers. | TAKE THE TEST brought to you by thatsurveysite |
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